Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sunshine and Metaphors!


Today the world is sunny and I am, uncharacteristically, not in a terrible mood. I am even at work, which usually slowly and painfully erodes my soul until there is nothing left but its bitter exposed underbelly...but not today.

Why? Could it be, the return of Glee? The nearing conclusion of Lost? The fact that it's almost officially summer, which is the only time of year when living in Vancouver does not officially suck? That I'm hosting a Puppy and Cupcake Party for my work peeps in the nearish future, and there will be puppies, and cupcake, and much obligatory merriment? That I got to sleep in this morning? Or a complex combination of so many of these things, like an intricately woven tapestry of elation?

Also important, in this fit of happiness, is a desire to quit to soft drink addiction...especially after reading about ulcers and G.E.R.D., which led to reading about Barret's Esophagus, which led to the realization that I really do have an increased risk of Esophageal Cancer if I keep this up. And then, at thirty, I'd totally be like one of those smokers who says, "what, when I started, we didn't know it could KILL you," even though they started smoking in the eighties and by then, everyone totally knew. Just like that. Which...crap.

So...cancer! Sunshine! The vague possibility of kicking a habit near and dear to my heart for the last eightish years! Yay...?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Our Lady of Perpetual Diet Coke

At long last, a deity has been created in my image! Behold!

Actually, this was sent by an awesome friend, and is an image created by the just-discovered-but-amazing comic stylings of Natalie Dee, which include such classics as "Fuck yeah! Springtime!" and "I'm going to lick you, okay?"

Speaking of which, I think it's time for my bimonthly effort to quit diet coke. (Does bi-monthly mean once every two months, or twice a month? Or does it really matter? Is either less pathetic, when it's an addiction to a soft drink, and its been going on for eight years?)

My heart-burn is getting quite uncomfortable, and I worry about my poor abused teeth and effects of constantly dousing them in acid. I've tried brushing less often, so that I don't wear away softened enamel, but that makes me worry more about cavities and staining. Plus, coffee at work is really cheap, and coffee has more caffeine than diet coke, so theoretically I should be able to switch to coffee, save money, and drink less with the same effects...although, where will I get my daily aspartame requirements from?

But...seriously. Its only a matter of time before my bones start breaking from premature osteoporosis. Oh diet coke, you delicious silver-lined can full of happiness, why must you hurt my body so? Without you, I'll surely be forced to find another self-care quick-fix of instant comfort, refreshment, and happiness.

Oooh, you know what people say is good for that? Cigarettes. Right.

Coca-Cola is such a gateway drug.