I have been sick. Sick with a series of debilitating plagues, otherwise known as “the common cold.” And then, because I was coughing, I pulled a muscle in my chest, and then, inexplicably, I pulled another, bigger, painfuller muscle in my neck. And then I couldn’t move my neck for three days. And all of this meant that I didn’t go to work yesterday or the day before, so I have been sitting, at home, with my puppies, feeling hurty. And not much else. Which has all led to a very overwhelming sense of...Boredom.
Boredom is often mistaken as a lack of interesting activities to engage in. It is not. Rather, it is a sense of profound apathy...a realization, through disengagement, that most activities, in life, are simply not worth doing. Further apathy ensues. Coupled with laziness, boredom creates a powerful force of inertia which can render otherwise functional adults completely immobile and, after a day or so, quite smelly.
The cure? Any activity which, through a force of sheer awesomeness, re-inspires the afflicted’s faith in the world and willingness to engage.
Naturally, I thought of Neil Patrick Harris, as he is a beacon of brilliant awesomeness in a dark, unawesome world.
This led me to Youtube. Which led to the discovery that Neil Patrick Harris was in Sweeney Todd and Rent (onstage), which further makes him totally awesome. And then I thought of Doogie Howser, the founding force of Neil Patrick Harris.
But, you see, I’ve never seen Doogie Howser, MD. And that’s because I came from a conservative Christian home, and Doogie Howser was, apparently, nothing but a front for the Antichrist in his bid to seduce the minds of young people. Or something like that. My cousins, inexplicably, weren’t allowed to watch Captain Planet. I assumed this was because environmentalism was also thought to be a tool of the Antichrist. I much later figured out that this was because the series hosted an episode with a gay character...who, awesomely enough, was voiced by Neil Patrick Harris.
The point being, I was overdue to enjoy the awesomeness that was Neil Patrick Harris playing a doctor on TV. And the forces of the internet told me that you could watch every episode that ever was, online...clearly, boredom solved.
Except, all of the episodes available online are hosted by Hulu, which is only available to American viewers, so...No!!! Dammit, world, you thwart my efforts to spend eighty hours of my life watching cheesy television from the early nineties. WHY? The inhumanity! Ow...my neck!
Stupid world. And that is the story of why I am STILL bored. And hurty. And sick. Balls.